There comes a point when you have to wonder if the treatment is worth the outcome. The outcome is - we don't know. Scott has such bad muscle spasms. Some so bad that they have pushed his port needle from the port under the skin filling the skin with saline and causing swelling and irritation. They used a longer needle. He will go from a restful sleep to sitting straight up with his spasms. I try to stretch his arm out but sometimes the spasm are to powerful for me.
I've done allot of reading while I have been here on food. I have found that 80% of our diet should be raw veggies. I am going to try and slowly change our diet. Try my best to cut out red meat, pork and chicken. I think it would be good while Scott is on chemo and going through radiation to help replenish cells that have been damaged. But, also maybe a healthier lifestyle. I don't know how receptive Scott will be but, maybe I can show him it is the best way. I think by doing it slowly it may just work. My first thought is to go home and throw everything in my cabinets away but, I know that is a little radical. Scott would think I had lost my mind and it would probably scare Kellie to think she may starve to death. I want everyone to choose what they want to eat but, I also want them to see that maybe the research I have done is the best way to eat.
The room stays quiet most of the time as Scott rest. My thoughts wonder and my heart aches. I've learned allot and I've read allot. I watch the light BEAM ON knowing it is Scott that is in there. I look at the people surrounding me that go to radiation alone and go to chemo alone. I couldn't imagine not being by Scott's side. I know I will have to return back to work but, Scott will have someone with him. I think that is so important to know they don't walk this journey alone. I take on my emotions and the emotions of other people. This is truly the hardest thing I've done and could never imagine doing it again but, no one knows what our future holds.
Scott's second treatment is again at 12:30. Please continue to keep us in your prayers
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2 comments:
Hi Dalana, as always I'm thinking about you and Scott. Last year I read the blog of a husband of a fellow photographer who found out he had brain cancer after being accidently kicked in the head. He's made the unconventional decision to fight his cancer through alternative methods. I know you have alot of time on your hands for some reading, I figured I'd send it along if you might be interested. His main blog is: http://jumpdavidjump.com and the entry on his 'Metabolic Medicine' post is http://www.davidvwenzel.com/jump_david_jump/2010/01/metabolic-medicine-101.html
But I recommend taking a look at his whole story.
Hang in there.
Scott is so lucky to have you, Dalana! I've never seen two people who love each other more!
I just read the link on Erica's comment. If you decide to go that route, we have a friend who practices Chinese medicine (she even trained in China) who could probably lead you in that direction. Just let me know if you want her information.
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