SCOTT ZECH

Scott M. Zech Satellite Beach Scott M. Zech, 43, lost his courageous 16 year battle with brain cancer on Friday, March 19, 2010. He passed away at home surrounded by his family and friends. Scott's path in life wasn't always easy, the bends and turns made him the man he was. Everyone that knew Scott has a little piece of heaven here on earth. Scott touched the lives of so many. He lived his life to the fullest, not knowing if there would be a tomorrow. His sense of humor, his smile and laughter will shine on forever in his loved ones left behind. He is survived by the love of his life, Dalana; daughter, Brandy Rogers of Melbourne; son, Blake Rogers (Kellie) serving in Iraq; his precious grand daughter, Skylar Hume. He was the devoted brother and friend of Aaron Ford and Michelle Brown. Memorial service will be at 3:00 p.m. Wednesday, March 24th at Satellite Beach Methodist Church. Donations may be sent to the Lance Armstrong Foundation in honor of Scott.

My World Is Changed

We had the best of the best doctors. They had an elaborate plan to begin treatment and everyone was on board. A plan that seemed so perfect - went so wrong. With only a few treatments into the treatment plan Scott began to decline. I spoke with the doctor who had been treating Scott the last 8 years and he said that the tumor had already crossed into Scott's motor skill. Dr. N. said that even if when the 28 radiation treatments were done that Scott would need a full time nursing facility. Scott would be unable to walk, to care for himself , he wouldn't even be able to feed himself. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I knew that wasn't even an option. I knew Scott wouldn't want to live that way and it was no way to live.

I made arrangements that day to bring Scott home. The home we built together, the home we made so many memories. Michelle had came to the house after work to make sure everything was ready for Scott to return home. On the way home I rode in transport with Scott I asked that the waterfall turned on so Scott would have a familier noise. I wasn't prepared for so many people who had come to the house - family and friends. The hospice nurse was here and things were hectic until Scott got settled in. Scott was aggitated from the drive. Monday night was the last words Scott spoke and he spoke them to his brother Aaron.

I never left Scott's side except to brush my teeth and to go to the restroom. I wanted Scott to know that I was always there. It amazed me the amount of people that would come by to pay their respects. At no time was our bed empty, the more people in the bed the more love. So many people commented on what a beautiful picture it was. Scott was surrounded by so many people and so much love. Scott went so peaceful. So many commented on my strength. My strength came from my love for Scott, the love from my family and friends. Scott lost his battle on Friday at 11:45.

It was tough to tell Skylar. She asked me if I was serious and I said yes. Skylar said he wasn't even old - he wasn't even close. She cried, she said how much she would miss him and then she sat down and drew him pictures. I am hoping that I can be strong and be all I can be for Skylar. I will do all I can so she never forgets him.

I am in the process of still making arrangements. I will post them on the blog as soon as they are finalized.

Rough Nite

Scott had a really rough night. He woke up about 12:30 throwing up and with a really bad headache. Kellie and I slept together on the murphy bed and when Scott began to make his nausea's sounds Kellie and I flew out of bed. WARNING THIS IS NOT FOR ONES WITH A WEAK STOMACH: We sat Scott up and began to scoop yesterdays lunch out of his mouth so he did choke or aspirate it into the lungs.

Dr. B has started Manitol to reduce swelling. I misunderstood the chemo I thought it was 5 on 5 off but, because they want to hit the area hard so the chemo is a straight 42 days. Scott is being really pounded with radiation and chemo. and all of it's side effects being nausea's.



I keep touching him massaging his feet to let him know I am here. I even clipped his toenails yesterday. The Dialudid keeps him resting comfortably. I feel if he is resting comfortably it will be less stress on the brain.



We had gotten surprise visitors from our friends Tami and Eric and their beautiful children. Wow how the kids have grown. Tami said she wish Scott knew they were here - he did he was just drugged. We also had family here and are expecting our friends Don and his wife Lillian from the coast to visit later today. Michelle and Matt came up yesterday to visit and bring my jeep and visit and bring goodies. Aaron slept in the hospital 2 nights with Scott. We are so grateful for our friends and my family and will never be able to repay the things you have all done for us.



Scott's lunch is here but, I want him to sleep off the Dialudid and maybe feed him later. Scott's nurse said I missed my calling but, I don't agree. I would rather flip burgers than see people suffer. The nurse also was greatful that I am here 24 - 7 she said that most peoples family don't even come to visit. How sad...no matter what has happened in the past - it sems heartless for people to loose their lives knowing no one cared - not even enough to visit. Hmm.. goes back to a later post - I told you I take on others peoples emotions.

Rocky Road

Scott has slept most of the day but, it is a peaceful restful sleep. Dr. B had given instructions to give Manitol twice a day. So they had began dispensing that this afternoon and will again this evening. At around 5:00 Scott began throwing up. Kellie and I wiped his face as I took the food out of his mouth so he did not choke.This extremely worried me because I worried what the brain was doing. I think I figured it was a migraine.

I took a phone call out of the room and when I came back Scott was sweating , which I think is good to reduce all the toxins in his body. Kellie and I placed ice cold towels on his head and Kellie took off his gown and fanned him with a cold rag.

Don and his wife (from church ) are coming up tomorrow. Aaron and Seth may come up and visit also. My family and our friends have been extremely supportive and I know if Scott felt better he would also tell you how grateful and thankful we are for all of you.

And please forgive any post that do not make sense. Sometimes I am like zombie writing these
post....Keep praying

Friday Evening Update

Dr. B. came in to check on Scott. Scott was sweating , sleeping and has a headache. The whole right side of the brain is either tumor, swelling or radiation necrosis. They are going to give him Manitol over the next few days to reduce the swelling that the radiation is causing. The area is so tight - there is very little room for swelling.
When I see him look at Scott I see him excepting a miracle and I guess that is what we need. But, that is exactly what Scott is a "Miracle"

So Many Emotions

It took our friend Keri to take something I had on my blogger title to have me focus again. Yesterday I was willing to throw in the towel. I felt like Scott and his body had -had enough. It was Scott (the one fighting) that wanted to continue this fight. How could I be so quick to give up?

I have never prayed so hard and so much in my life and then I don't know if God is showing me the road that we need to take. How will I know if the decisions I make are the right decisions? I have to let go and let God and be comfortable with that. I have to let go and let God. It is the only decision that makes sense right now.

Our friend Erica shared a blog that she had been following of a man with brain cancer. I read it and found the information to be very helpful but, also his blog inspirational. He also spoke of everything that I have been reading on detoxing the body and eating nothing processed. You are what you eat. It also makes me what to be more spiritual. It makes me what to take mine and Scott's journey and make it a positive one. For now we have had to do the radiation and chemo but, hopefully the detox and new diet will help us make the decision to continue chemo or not.

The doctor suggest that Scott go into a nursing facility from here. But, I know that is not what Scott would want. I know it is not going to be easy but, I am willing to do the work to keep him home. My main concern now is getting him from the house to the car to Orlando for radiation.

Holding Hands

Another radiation treatment down. Dr. B came in today with not a really encouraging look on his face. After he left I looked at how tired Scott looked and I wondered has he had enough. With tears streaming down my face and me holding Scott's hands I asked him if he wanted to stop treatment and go home. I wasn't sure what the answer would be but, I wanted him to know he would always have my heart and he would always be my hero. His answer : I want more time with you , if I decide to stop treatment then I may never know if it was the right decision. So I will fight through those bastard treatments. I never thought I would have to take the hands of someone that I love with all my heart and say those words and as I spoke them it felt like someone was taking my heart and ripping it to shreds. When Scott said he wanted to fight , the conversation was over I will fight right along beside him. Scott also said he had to fight for Skylar. Even when I tried to make it all about Scott and what he wanted - he made it about me and Skylar. Even through his darkest days he is still thinking of others.

I Have Truly Been Brought To My Knees

There comes a point when you have to wonder if the treatment is worth the outcome. The outcome is - we don't know. Scott has such bad muscle spasms. Some so bad that they have pushed his port needle from the port under the skin filling the skin with saline and causing swelling and irritation. They used a longer needle. He will go from a restful sleep to sitting straight up with his spasms. I try to stretch his arm out but sometimes the spasm are to powerful for me.

I've done allot of reading while I have been here on food. I have found that 80% of our diet should be raw veggies. I am going to try and slowly change our diet. Try my best to cut out red meat, pork and chicken. I think it would be good while Scott is on chemo and going through radiation to help replenish cells that have been damaged. But, also maybe a healthier lifestyle. I don't know how receptive Scott will be but, maybe I can show him it is the best way. I think by doing it slowly it may just work. My first thought is to go home and throw everything in my cabinets away but, I know that is a little radical. Scott would think I had lost my mind and it would probably scare Kellie to think she may starve to death. I want everyone to choose what they want to eat but, I also want them to see that maybe the research I have done is the best way to eat.

The room stays quiet most of the time as Scott rest. My thoughts wonder and my heart aches. I've learned allot and I've read allot. I watch the light BEAM ON knowing it is Scott that is in there. I look at the people surrounding me that go to radiation alone and go to chemo alone. I couldn't imagine not being by Scott's side. I know I will have to return back to work but, Scott will have someone with him. I think that is so important to know they don't walk this journey alone. I take on my emotions and the emotions of other people. This is truly the hardest thing I've done and could never imagine doing it again but, no one knows what our future holds.
Scott's second treatment is again at 12:30. Please continue to keep us in your prayers

One Down

Scott the first of 27 treatments of radiation. While we were in the holding area. A three year old boy came in for treatment. The little boy cried while they accessed his port and then cried while behind the doors of the radiation room. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I began to cry and when they took Scott - they took me to a different holding area. After Scott's treatment the doctor came in and again said he was treating a fairly large area and the fact Scott can't have MRI's made it sound like they were radiating the area by guessing - after merging the PetScan and CT Scan. It is so frustrating that he can't have the MRI's. We are at a catch 22

Quick Update

Scott had began Chemo on Monday evening. He will began radiation today. Because Scott had radiation so long ago, he is able to have the full 42 treatments - if that is what they choose. He will take Avastin again on Friday and continue treatment with that every two weeks. Pastor Jason was up this morning and is holding a prayer service with over 100 people to pray for Scott - "Awesome" so around 7:00 the love should be flowing. Aaron is still here but has to leave today to go back to Jupiter - it has been great having him here.

Weekend Update

Tina offered to spend the weekend with Scott at the hospital . I left the hospital on Friday headed home. I picked Skylar on my way home for a sleep over. When I woke up Saturday I went to the doctors house to watch the dogs. I got a phone call that Scott wasn't do so well and a chest xray had been ordered and a CT Scan. I spoke with Dr. Nick and he said he wasn't going to lie - things didn't look good. I had an emotional breakdown, dropped Skylar off , picked up Michelle and headed to the hospital. Scott was pretty out of it. He seem to come around about 2 this morning. Scott's Dialatin level was a 5 and it is normally a 13. I am thinking that is why he was so tired.
Scott felt like he was going to have a seizure this morning but, he didn't. He ate all his breakfast, his whole tray of lunch, including soup and dessert and all his dinner. He is resting now. Dr. Nick said Scott was more with it today than yesterday and he didn't see a reason we couldn't start radiation and chemo tomorrow.
Kellie flies in on Saturday and Scott's PT and OT will pick up where they left off. I need to get back to work but, I can not leave the hospital again without Scott.

Masked

I did the un thinkable I left the hospital yesterday to sleep, shower and have my hair done. Tina stayed with Scott and I think I died when I went to bed. It was difficult crossing the causeway returning home without Scott. Everything I did yesterday, that I would do in a normal day seemed abnormal.

Scott and I had our radiation consult and he is being fitted for his mask now and is doing his simulation. The mask is made of mesh and it will conform to his head and face. They no longer tattoo the head but they mark the mask and merge the two with the Pet Scan. I hear Dr.R. is the best of the best. He is thinking he will need to hit a bigger area than the area they hit 16 years ago. Dr. R. said that after Scott's surgery last April Scott should have had radiation then. We can't go back but, we can move forward and this is where we are now.

Dr. R. came from Boston and said in all the years he has practiced he has never seen a drill bit that had been shanked off in someones head. I will after all this gets started ask if the Pet Scan is the way we should go from now on.

Aaron is going to stay with Scott Monday - Wednesday and I will come up after work everyday. The weekends I will most likely stay with my mom so I can spend all the time I can with Scott between here and Physical Therapy. Scott's one has been kicking up allot and this has become very painful for him. They increased his Baclofen and I brought a heating pad. Heat seems to keep it down.

We Are Making Some Progress

Scott had a pretty good last couple of days. He had been eating better but, didn't care to much about eating lunch today. He had a slight headache today and I pushed the PC pump which dispensed a .25 dose of Dilaudid. So he is resting comfortably. Don from the church drove over for a quick visit. It probably took him longer to drive here than he was actually stayed. Scott slept through most of the visit.

Scott will go from here to Lucerne for physical therapy.Lucerne is two blocks from MD Anderson. It is better that he stay here , so he can be monitored by the doctors here. Hopefully they can get him to where he will be able to walk again.

I will return to work and go back and fourth. My family will also kick in for some visits since they live closer than I will be. Not the best scenario for Scott and I but, the best for his health.
Kellie's dad had come up with a wonderful idea. He has been generous enough to drive Kellie half way to Florida and then I will meet and drive her and Roo here. We are going to do all this before Scott gets out of rehab. So hopefully , everything will be in place by the time Scott returns home.

It Has To Get Better

that's what I keep telling myself. Yesterday was a rough day. The dialudid had built up in Scott's system and caused him to become unresponsive. They had called for Rapid Response and a team filled the room. They had injected a drug called Narcan - this drug knocks the dialudid out of the way and takes over for about 10 minutes and then the dialudid knocks the narcan out of the way and takes back over. Scott was in so much pain, it was ripping my heart out of my chest. Dr. Nick ordered a PC pump for pain but, so Scott was sedated all day yesterday. Dr. Nick decided instead of the machine dispensing the meds every so often , to let Scott or I do it. Scott has had 2 emergency CT scans to make sure there was no increased swelling or a bleed. Both CT scans were negative. . Dr. Nick also decided to hold Scott's chemo. Today Scott seems slightly sedated and confused. We are still waiting on the radiologist to come up to speak with us. Dr. Nick has agreed that is a good idea to hit those active tumors. The main objective now is to reduce the swelling.

Michelle had come up on Saturday for a visit and brought goodies. She has also been doing my job and hers too. I know she is exhausted. My family came up yesterday and took our laundry to wash, dry and fold. Milo has made a new friend in Tina and I am so grateful I don't have to worry about him.

I am fortunate enough to have Kellie drop everything and come to help me. We were going to try and get Blake home. But, as I thought about it - it made more sense for Blake to continue his job. He has a family now and they have bills. Kellie is a trained CNA and I won't worry while I work. My computer died and my little niece was nice enough to give hers up for me to use. That is a big deal to a young teenager.

I will never be able to repay everyone for their prayers, their support and all they have done to make our lives easier. It is times like this that make you realize who your true friends are.

Update on Scott

This is Michelle, Dalana and Scott friend. Dalana is unable to get on her computer at the hospital anymore so she wanted me to update the blog for all of you that follow it. Scott is still in the hospital and most likely will be for the next couple of days. He is undergoing two different kinds of chemo to attack the tumor, they are also considering doing radiation. He has had a few bad days with headaches and they have been monitoring them with CT Scans to make sure there in no more swelling. Dalana and Scott would like to thank everyone for their well wishes and asks that you all continue to pray for Scott. I will update the blog as I find out any new news since Dalana is unable to.