Airing Dirty Laundry

I have experienced two episodes very recently. It makes me so angry when people fight in front of their kids.Is it that hard to shelf the disagreement and deal with it maybe when the kids go to bed or are out of ear shot? Come on people. Are you that selfish and immature? Some parents allow kids to blend into the background if their wants and needs. Stop and think of what wonderful memories you are creating for your children. Maybe some books or commonsense will help. This is from Dr. Phil's book Family First.


Factor 1: Create a Nurturing and Accepting Family System.

The number one need in all people is the need for acceptance, the need to experience a sense of belonging to something and someone. The need for acceptance is more powerful in your family than anywhere else. The following to-do list can help you bring the spirit of acceptance into affirmative, interactive action in your family:

• Put your family on Project Status.
  This means you must consciously decide to actively and purposely work on improving your family situation every day. You may need to do such things as:
  
  - Reschedule business activities to make time for your kids.
  - Help your children set and achieve goals.
  - Set aside an hour a day for the family, every day.
  
  
• Bring out the authenticity of every family member.
  Each child in your family came into this world with a core set of unique skills, abilities, interests and talents — all of which make up their genuine identity, their "authentic self." Authentic children have a sense of hope, a feeling that today is as fun and exciting as yesterday and that tomorrow will be as fun and exciting as today. The following suggestions will help you get started on ways to discover and bring to the surface the authenticity and hidden talents and interests of each of your children.
  
  - Respect and encourage your child's uniqueness.
  - Catch your children doing something right.
  - Look for the best intentions in your children.
  
  
• Create a sense of security and peace in your home.
  Your children look to you and your spouse as a solid and safe base of operations. Yet when they're subjected to a conflict-ridden home, their base is shaken to the core. Here are some actions that will ensure that your family becomes and remains a secure stable base for your children and not a war zone.
  
  - Take arguments private and keep them private.
  - Stop being a "right-fighter."
  - Eliminate patterns of verbal abuse.
  - Deal forthrightly with destructive behavior.